Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
