I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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