i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
