Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
