Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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