The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
