I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
