i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize