I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
