one might say we're banned from that church
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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