If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Life is so much better after having sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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