Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
