I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
