Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
