Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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