Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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