dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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