why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
