so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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