i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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