Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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