So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
