So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
