Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
