just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
