): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
