a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
