In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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