there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
