Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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