well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
