Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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