home. puking in laundry basket.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
