i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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