He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
