Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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