no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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