So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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