Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
