after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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