Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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