we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
