She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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