i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize