what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
