Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
