I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
