The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
