Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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