Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
