A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You may now shotgun with the bride
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
