Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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