You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
