You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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